What Is the Ultimate Goal?

Once again, I'm leaning back in my chair staring at my computer screen when all I want is to get some sleep.  I like to journal.  I'm not consistent, or even very good.  But being an extrovert who processes externally, needing to talk most when everyone else is trying to sleep, well, I often turn to a blank page for consolation.  I can tend to be a grammar nazi, but the truth is, my punctuation is terrible.  So please forgive the extra commas and run-on sentences that you may frequently encounter.

The purpose of me starting this blog is not only to help organize my thoughts, but to help others realize they are not alone.  I often feel like my spiritual gifting is to encourage.  I hope to do just that as I walk through 2015 and beyond.  After all, we were not meant to be alone.

This year has already brought quite a few significant changes in my life.  I have my very first "legit" job, I've  started teaching piano lessons, and I am making Irish dancing a bigger part of my life.  That's kind of why I started this blog.  

I tend to worry.... a lot.  It's a constant battle for me to just let things go.  After I make a decision, I keep rolling it over in my mind wondering if I will someday regret it.  When I told my parents I wanted to start competing more seriously I was motivated by many different factors:

1. I wanted my solo dress so bad (Those are the colorful, sparkly dresses that more advanced dancers wear).

2. I love to compete and I wanted to see what it's like to be a serious competitor and travel to multiple feiseanna (Irish dancing competitions). 

3. Becoming more  involved seemed like the only way for me to feel content around most of the other girls at the studio.

4. I LOVE to dance.

Since we've moved forward with making all this happen, I've been worrying and over my decision.  Am I really committed enough? Will I really be okay with missing certain social events (like I said I am an EXTROVERT)? Is this all just for me? Am I doing it all for myself?

These questions have continued to roll over and over in my brain.  Tonight, they just wouldn't shut up.  So I picked up my journal and started writing:

"As much as I want to move up to Preliminary Champ and compete solo at Oireachtas, my

ULTIMATE GOAL

is to

GLORIFY MY HEAVENLY FATHER

by

DANCING FOR HIM

and 

LOVING EVERY MINUTE OF IT

I will put in the hard work.

If I make it, I make it.

If not, I will REST EASY

that I tried hard but it was  not my Father's plan for me.

NOW I am CONFIDENT."

So, I plan to be blogging about my experiences as I compete, the whirling thoughts in my head, and life in general.  This blog is a way of holding myself accountable.  This is not about me.  It's about glorifying God.  It's about doing the things I love, like dancing and encouraging others.  2015 here I come.